from Captain Awkward, Nov 2014
When you get a message that sounds really off, or leads you to a hurtful space, ask yourself some questions:
- Where is this even coming from?
- Is this comment about something related to my work?
- Is this topic this person’s business?
- What’s the agenda here?
- Is this person speaking from authority or experience, or just projecting? Where is the evidence for their point of view?
- Does this person really have my best interests at heart or are they just enforcing the status quo?
- Is this coming from a competitor or a supporter?
- If I didn’t follow their suggestion, what would the consequences be, if any? Does that consequence matter to me? (For example, “They will think I am making a big mistake“…who cares?)
- What would someone outside of the situation think of this problem?
- Is this what I do think or just what I think I should think?
- If I followed this suggestion, would I be happier?